If relationships were cars; trust would be the fuel and respect would be the engine. Love matters because you can’t be in a relationship with someone you don’t love, but so much could go wrong in a relationship where love is all you and your partner have for each other.
I’ve been in my fair share of types of relationships:
I know what it’s like to love someone and not respect them (so much that I made decisions without ever consulting them, disappointed them and made a fool out of them)
I know what it’s like to love someone and not trust them (Yes, I checked their phone – and got what I was looking for)
I also know what it’s like not to love someone as deeply as they love you and I don’t know if that was the foundation of the trust in that relationship but I know I trusted that man with my life and the respect came from seeing how well he could handle my bullshit and any problem he was faced with.
So I how it feels to be in relationships that lack trust and respect.
Trust is important because it allows a person to be able to build themselves as an individual. When you trust your partner you don’t read too much into relationships they have with people of the opposite gender, you don’t care about the people who see what you saw and still see in your partner and want a piece of it and you’re not bothered by how much time your partner wants to spend with their friends/alone because you also have platonic relationships, you also want time to yourself and to be with friends and you also have people who want you as much as your partner does but you don’t entertain them.
When you have trust (sis…) you don’t feel the need to check his phone.
People are starting to normalise unfaithfulness again, especially in heterosexual relationships;
“He’s a man, he makes mistakes”
“He may fuck around with the rest of you but he still comes homes to me”
When will we stop pretending like men don’t leave the moment the woman is the one who “makes a mistake”?
We let men get away with a lot, cheating shouldn’t be one of those things because it breeds disrespect and distrust.
If you’ve ever been cheated on then you know what cheating does to a person’s self-esteem; you feel like everything was a lie… each “I love you”; each “You mean everything to me”; each plan for the future … and you feel stupid for believing any of it.
You feel like everything you did for them meant nothing to them; you feel like it was worthless; you feel worthless.
Being cheated on makes you wonder how anyone is ever going to think you’re enough when the person you gave all you had to offer found it unworthy of appreciation.
Don’t ever think someone who could make you feel that way has any type of respect for you.
I know that trust and respect are both things that could be built and that they are both hard to read (because people are able to act like they trust and respect you when they feel neither)
but if you ever get to a point where you realise that you have lost the trust you had and don’t respect your partner anymore, you ought to leave.